When a child is seriously ill, as well as being a difficult time for families and friends, it also affects school communities, neighbourhood and other people important to the family.
These are some ideas that may be helpful for families, friends, colleagues and neighbours who know a family with a child going through cancer, and how they might best help support them.
- Please do not visit the family if you are unwell in any way. Always call or preferably text as sometimes we are just too tired to talk before visiting. It needs to be a good time to visit.
- Ask them what they need. People often find it hard to ask for help. Let them know you’re there with no obligation to respond.
- Remember that at times like this it’s not always a good time to talk. Be sensitive to timing – some people are under great pressure and conversations not always easy
- If you are close to the family, try and put together with them a wish list of what they really want or need – housework, laundry, garden help, pet minding, meals etc. This list can be distributed amongst family/friends so that everyone can do a little, and everything gets done. It saves the parents from having to ask for help each time along the way.
- Childcare for other children, dropping siblings to school and other activities is important especially during treatment, hospital appointment times etc
- If meals are one issue, share the days amongst friends to provide. Some local providers of good, nutritious inexpensive ready-made meals provide vouchers so the family can choose what they would want to eat.
- Vouchers are your friends: petrol, groceries, department stores, pharmacies. These can help ease the stress of the financial burdens.
- If your child is a school classmate and one of the peers has to call into class for remote learning, encourage them to help their friend feel included.
- If your children are friends with their children, try to talk with yours about what is happening.
- Encourage some kind of regular catch up, call or hangout, to support a routine of normalcy.
- If a family of faith consider calling on the congregation to for support
- If the child and parent have spent a long time admitted to hospital, consider a short visit and taking in a home cooked meal, or meeting for a coffee at the hospital. Parents won’t want to leave a very unwell child so a short visit at the hospital is perfect and a home cooked meal will be very much appreciated, especially the child’s favourite as hospital food is a little challenging.
- Parents do need down time to just be. Hospitals, appointments and facing cancer is hard. If they don’t want to go out or talk, please don’t force it. They are in recovery/rebuild mode. After putting all our energy into helping their child, with little sleep, dealing with tests and horrible results, the worry, the treatment, up all hours with a very unwell child, comforting siblings, facing financial and work strain, they have fallen apart and had to pick themselves back up.
- Remember that parents need care too – sometimes something for them helps them feel supported and helps their wellbeing. If you know them well, seek things that you know they would appreciate. It could be a massage, a nurturing treatment, a night of respite so they can have dinner or spend a night away to revive and replenish their emotional stores.
When a child has cancer there are many stressors and moving parts. There is no panacea for the anxiety or worry it can cause. However thoughtful, practical help from family, friends and the school can make things a little less awful, and help you navigate the path. We can’t do these things by ourselves so try to be open to the help and support of loved ones and your community.
Registrations for Fight Cancer Foundations’ Footy Colours Day 2022 are now open.
Footy Colours Day
Fight Cancer Foundation’s Footy Colours Day is a national community fundraising event in September that helps kids with cancer keep up with school.
Join thousands of Australians by wearing your favourite team’s colours and hosting an event at your workplace or school to raise much-needed funds!